Wasted!

I'm supposed to be studying today but for some reason my attention is diverted to this internet thingy... I have wasted another important day of my life. Had been shopping and browsing till my eyes popped out. By the way, one of the guy we lived with is moving out this weekend, and he's so busy taking all his stuff. I'm gonna miss him though, he's lovely to have him around and my little girl loves him. They play around very nicely and I think he's a good influence to her. At some point my daughter grows up with men around the house, so she always said to me "mummy I wanna be a boy".
Better get back then to my books and papers duh!

It's been a year!

It's been over a year since I posted my thoughts here... I haven't got anything to say to really. I was off line for a while because my family has been so hurt. Until now, we're all still healing.
We mourn in different way, some doesn't want to mention a thing, some wants to talk about it and remember the good times, some just want to keep themselves busy so there wouldn't have a minute to even remember it and some cried a lot until the tears washes all away the pain... I haven't got a clue how painful this would be until one of us left us. Anyone will always be surprised when no one's expected to come and go...
Life is like a plant... there's always be time to grow its leaves, blossoms and suddenly wilt. But it is very sad to cut its flower at its peak before it wilts. The pain is indescribable, it is surreal and it leaves a great scar in my heart.

Punting in Cambridge

Few photos here to show a little bit of Cambrigde. Punting is very common tourist activities in Cambridge. It is very romantic and stunning view to enjoy with loveones. These photos I took when we went punting with my office colleague last month. The first photo is called The Mathematical Bridge which connects to the University - Queens College. This bridge was built on 1749. On the second photo, you can see the wooden bridge, it is where I cycle everyday to work. It leads to the foothpath by the river and nice green grassy park on the otherside.

Just a little bit of flavour of this place for now.

Opposite Attracts

I am just surprised, well sort of – that some of our qualities as Filipina, that we don’t like in ourselves, people would spend a lot of money for them to have it.

One day, my friend came in the office with an orange stripe on her ankle. She warned me saying, “Don’t mind my ankle, I’ve got stripes from my fake tan, I didn’t rub it evenly”. I was smiling and said, “Don’t you know that I wanted to have fair skin like you?” And she was stunned with awe because all along she adored my naturally tan skin. Huh! She made a real fuss and told everybody in the office about it, and they laugh at me because they love my skin-colour. I was in a hotseat for awhile listening to my story that back in the Philippines all you can see is Whitening lotions, and most of the beauty products have whitening substance in it. They won’t believe me at all! They were and still are thinking that I am just making the stories up. I wasn’t and I am not, I can prove it right? I googled it and proved them wrong. Back in our land, girls with tanned skin are unattractive and not beautiful and boys won’t lay eyes on them – no chance. That’s why we tried very hard to get the right colour for us to be beautiful and attractive.

When I first came here in England, I was thinking… Gosh! My skin will be lighter now, as its cold and the sunshine wont burn my skin. I look around in shops to buy whitening lotion, but I couldn’t find. In fact, I can only find tanning lotion instead. What the hell! Why the hell these products are sold? We want whitening but never a TANNING lotion!!! Honestly, it never occurred to my mind that there are people struggling to have tanned skin. They even have tanning saloon, that you have to pay a quid to burn your skin in a “blue light thingy”… and you would look hilarious in a tiny black eye covers. High-end tan maintenance is very expensive. They’ve got someone spray like a brown paint in your whole body with clothes off.

Anyway, another thing that they are conscious about is the tiny hair on their legs and arms… To me, there’s nothing wrong with that, I like to have one as it’s a bit sexy and again… attractive. My skin looks like a deserted place that no plant will grow. I never had it on my skin, and never wax nor shave it. They told me that I am the luckiest person in the world (with exaggeration of course huh) that I don’t need to spend hundreds of Pounds to wax that hairy bits. It opened my mind to appreciate what I got is more than enough to be attractive.

Another classic thing is, people with straight hair will curl it and people with curly hair will straighten it. We are never happy and content of what we’ve got. We can never appreciate it either. But as a person, no matter how you look like, CONFIDENCE is the key word. If you have it in your heart and mind, you are sexy and beautiful. So ladies, don’t despair if you have the qualities that you don’t like, because it’s the most appreciated things in the foreign land. I will never change my colour and I will never change my image to conform to what the society is expecting of. Don’t be chameleon. Just like in friendship, a friend should never change no matter what happened. We all know this that once we found one true friend, we are very lucky… 

Where the road ahead is uncertain

Looking at this photo alone will remind us that in life there is always uncertainties. It is very humbling in ourselves, that in any way we are equal. No matter what you think of yourself, no matter what status you are in the society, the underlying truth is - we are all human being and there is God who made us.

This one alone explains about life. There is no degree of knowledge and understanding that encompass God's plan to each one of us. And it is all up to us to recognise it.

Summer Solstice

It's in the middle of summer now and still doesn't feel as warm as back home in the Philippines. I didn't realise that last Friday was the longest day of the year, and mostly Pagan celebrate this day to honor their Gods and Godesses. It's quite a big event for them which they gathered around in Stonehenge, England. Last year, we were supposed to go and see, but of course, with my baby in tow it would have been difficult. I have my personal opinion with all these beliefs and superstition, although I wont deny am a little bit superstitious. What can I say, when you grow up in the Philippines, and we're told to do this and that without any clear reason why. Sometimes its alright but as soon as you become fanatic, this will bring you into trouble. I am still a bit skeptical with all these.

Anyway, Father's day was yesterday... Got my husband 2 shirts and card. I had just called my Papa to greet him and chocs & card for FIL. We did a family outing yesterday too with my in-laws. It was great fun day, just cycling around the lake, exploring the countryside then went out for a meal at the nearby hotel. You can't beat the beauty of nature and good food altogether.

Fast forward

It's been quite a while since I blog. This page is currently collecting dust, but hopefully, I will have more time this year. I'd love to update my blog and have some time for myself since I've been very busy lately. I had a lot on my plate and there are times that I just want to dissappear, hybernate perhaps. Not a good idea though.

Anyhow, my parents are here in the UK. They will be here up until March 2009. They haven't expected that 5 months felt so long for them and they started feeling homesick. A lot of worries back home, that I thought they could relax and enjoy their time here. Somehow it affects their health and cold weather doesn't help much. I am soooo stressed of everything and I think I can't cope this any longer. But I rest my mind in God's confidence that He will help me all this.